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现在想想那件事我依然羞愧,自己曾经那么愚蠢。  与老公结婚多年却一直没有孩子,眼看着身边的朋友一个个大起肚子,小孩呱呱坠地,已经三十快五的我心里头哪能不着急?婆婆盼着我的肚皮能有出息,给了我不少压力,可我却有苦难言,孩子又不是我一人能生的,老公不配合,我能怎么办?  老公性冷淡是我最大的痛苦与秘密,结婚多年,从最初的欢愉到后来的冷淡,老公不爱碰我,即使碰了,也是几分钟就结束,草草了事,我曾担心他是不是搞外遇,还请私家侦探调查他,结果却很正常,老公没有在外面乱搞。后来一次我情绪爆发了,质问他为什么不碰我,他却一副苦不堪言的样子,说我在床上像条死鱼,做起来没劲。他的话让我深受打击,事实上我的确没有给与热情的回应,但那是因为老公每次时间都很短,我还来不及品味其中快活,他就完事了。各种矛盾交织在一起,让我跟老公的性生活陷入重重僵局,我不知道该怎么解决,心里却一味地着急想要有个孩子。  后来小叔子从国外留学回来,接受了近十年的国外教育的他思想很开放,行为也都很随性,他很帅,又高大,一直都有健身,身材特别好,让女人看了都会想入非非。小叔子年轻,欲望比较强,虽然尴尬,但我也是过来人了,一般看到也就当没看到过去了,不过最让我震惊的是那次,那天下午家里没人,我有文件忘记在家里,就临时回家来拿,结果一开家门就听见奇怪的动静从小叔子的房间传来,我当时以为他又在家打飞机,所以就小心地关门,怕他发现我回来了尴尬。  可是我却发现玄关处有一双陌生的女人的高跟鞋,然后我就好奇地走近他的房间,从门缝中竟看见他跟女友在家偷尝禁果呢!他们做得正忘我,根本没发现我的窥视,我当时惊呆了,想要移开眼,却怎么也移不开,小叔的身材真好,窄腰翘臀,他女朋友也不错,皮肤白,胸部大,我看着他们缠在一起,那个下午,我就这样情不自禁地窥视着他们的床事,直到他们高潮,才惊醒一般地躲进房间里,那时才发现时间已过半小时之久,而我底裤已经半湿。

  小叔竟然能坚持这么久,那他女朋友该有多性福啊。这是我当时的想法,后来这就像支飘进我心里的羽毛,总搔着我的心,让我痒得难以承受。那么尽兴尽情的啊,还有我对孩子的渴望交织在一起让我涌起个可怕的念头。后来一晚老公加班不在家,婆婆去邻居家通宵打麻将了,家里就剩我跟小叔,我一时冲动下,穿着轻薄的睡衣就冲进了他的房间里。他当时吓了一跳,问我有事吗。  我也不知哪来的勇气,一下子就坐到他的腿上,拉起他的手放到我的胸部上。我让他上我,还说不会有人知道的。我以为他年轻气盛,应该抵不住我的诱惑,对于自己的魅力,我还是有点自信的,可小叔一把推开我,然后开始骂我,说我疯了,不要脸,对不起他哥什么的。被骂的屈辱让我直接泪崩了,我感到委屈,老公无能,我年纪也大了,我只是想要一个孩子,有错吗?!做出这样的决定我需要多大的勇气,难道我就那么不要脸,喜欢当潘金莲吗?!  他当时听了我的话,看到我的眼泪也明白了我的苦楚,然后拿过衣服披在我身上对我说:"嫂子,我哥要有问题就去看看医生吧。",我当时羞愧难当,后来硬拉着着老公去医院治疗。  经过治疗以后,老公慢慢有所好转,性生活终于不再成为我生活中的魔障,小叔也跟他的女友结婚了,对于他,我既感激又羞愧,但还好,我到底没有做对不起老公的事。


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